Daniel’s Critical Corner: “Inkheart”

inkheartpic1[1] by you.
Go Change.  Someone Just Called You Mrs. Doubtfire !

~ Hello Everyone ~
Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner !
Today’s Novel Idea:  Inkheart

January is such a gloomy month.  The winter winds blow, the skies
are grey, and the movie theaters are a barren wasteland…  Devoid 
of good movies as the trees are devoid of leaves !  (At least that 
was the case last year around this time). 

We were treated to such charmers as “Over Her Dead Body” and
“In the Name of the King:  A Dungeon Siege Tale”.  But it is looking
like spring might be hitting us early.  No…  I am NOT talking about
“Hotel For Dogs”.  I am thinking more along the lines of “Defiance”, 
“My Bloody Valentine 3D” and, much to my surprise, “Inkheart”.  

As it so happens, “Defiance” is what “Valkyrie” should have been. 
(Will someone please call Tom Cruise and tell him that he sucks) ! 
I’d love to do it myself,  but I seem to have “misplaced” his phone
number.  Pity.  Anyway, “Defiance” wasn’t the infuhrerating mess 
“Valkyrie” became…  I realize the latter was a modest success at 
the box office, but I am not a fan of that particular S S hit.

   Do not adjust your computer screen folks.  I DID indeed insinuate 
that “My Bloody Valentine 3D” was enjoyable…  If nothing else,
“MBV3D” is a thrill ride of sorts.  I was impressed that it managed
to capture the feeling of the original cult classic, all while adding
some new “dimensions” of its own. 

For example, this updated version boasts huge 3-D BOOBS.  Yep.
Boobs.  Folks were actually reaching out for ’em.  (To avoid any 
  confusion, please remember “Valkyrie” is not in 3-D).  That film    
 features just one boob, and he is flatter than a pancake.

Now…  In regards to “Inkheart”, its flaws are many and its flaws
are obvious.  Nonetheless,  I rather enjoyed watching this flick. 
Sometimes, the movie is whimsical.  And at other times, flimsy. 
I guess that makes it “flimsical”.

Brendan Fraser returns to the big screen, and once again he is 
playing second fiddle to some CGI Gods and Monsters.  Brendan
is delightful as Mortimer “Mo” Folchart, a guy with a passion for
 old books.  His love of literature is shared enthusiastically by his 
cute young daughter, Meggie.  The pair travel around the world
trying to locate hard to find writings, having a blast while doing
so !!!  


inkheart-0[1] by you.
I Can’t Believe Borders Threw Us Out


Mo has spent several years searching for an out of print book 
titled “Inkheart”.  At first,  Meggie does not have the first clue
as to why her father is so obsessed with coming across it. She
just sees him as a bit of a loon, and leaves everything at that.

Imagine her surprise when she finds out the old book holds a
 secret to her past, involving her long lost mother !  We learn
that Mo has a magical gift…  He is a “Silvertongue”, someone
who can bring a character to life from a book just by reading
it out loud !  He actually pulls them out of the story into this
world (but it creates a vortex that forces someone out here
to be sucked in at the same time).

It’s a good thing he found out about his powers before he
read something of a questionable quality.  There are three
 books that a Silvertongue should probably NEVER read out 
loud from:



Sex ~ by Madonna

Me ~ by Katharine Hepburn

Garfield Goes to Waist ~ by Jim Davis




GD*7016010 by you.
Madonna:  Hard Candy…  Or Soft Serve ?


Anyway… Meggie’s Mom is stuck in the book (or so it seems)
and all sorts of characters are running amok.  Some are good
guys, like the hippie flame-thrower “Dustfinger”.  Now that’s 
a name !!!  (I guess there are worse fingers that he could be
be associated with)… 

In the evil villain department we are treated to “Capricorn”,
played wonderfully by Andy Serkis (Gollum in “The Lord of 
the Rings” trilogy).  His plan is to enlist Mo’s help in reading
a creep known as “The Shadow” out of “Inkheart”.  He will
stop at nothing, and conjures up a number of beasts to do
his bidding !  With the aide of a stuttering Silvertongue, he
manages to wreck some havoc on the countryside.

Meggie and Mo are not alone, as Dustfinger, a unicorn, and
even Toto from “The Wizard of Oz” do battle with the group
of wretched scum.  I’ve got to say it.  Toto is CUTE.  I can
be such a sucker for an adorable dog in a flick…  One extra
point, right there !  LOL ! 

Also helping our heroes is Meggie’s eccentric great aunt,
“Elinor Loredan” (played with a crazy perfection by Helen
Mirren).  This nut would give “Cruella Deville” a real run
for her money !

Yes, some hijinks ensue as all types of oddballs drop out
of the sky…  Including Rapunzel, who resembles Christina
Aguilera in hair extensions.  The Shadow does show up of
course, and it starts to look like curtains for Mo and the
 gang.  As expected, a grand battle plays out at the end !

When all was said and done…  I would have liked to have
seen more famous fictional characters flushed out !  This 
  movie stayed focused on the same few the ENTIRE time… 

Another miniscule gripe I have was about the locations. 
   All of the events transpire at Capricorn’s castle…  But a    
magical story (featuring such a broad imagination) really
should have had a broad backdrop as well !  Regardless,
it is all in good fun…  And it sure beats the heck out of 
that “Prince Crapstain” nonsense.

  Worn edges aside, “Inkheart” has the write attitude !!!


Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  “7” out of “10” 



Daniel’s Critical Corner: The Best of 2008

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Why Are You Guys Dressed Up ?  This Is An Informal Event !

~ Hello Everyone ~
Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner !
Even Dick Clark Has Been Anticipating:
The Best of 2008

Happy New Year  !!!  2009 is upon us…  But 2008 still resounds through
the pages of “Critical Corner”.  Arguably, it was one of the most notable
years for cinema since 1939 !!!  (That’s when the world was treated to 
such monumental gems as “Stagecoach”, “Ninotchka”, “Gone With the  
Wind”, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” and “The Wizard of Oz”) !

2008 was indeed a year of laughter and tears…  Tons of tears actually.
I can still recall seeing a grown man cry like a baby after coming out of
a late showing of “The Happening” with his family !  He fell to his knees
and wondered what “happened” to the ten dollars they put out for that
awful flick.

I will NEVER forget the look on his children’s faces.  Faces filled with 
despair…  “Why Papa?” they asked, “Why?”  It all looked like a street
urchin scene from a Charles Dickens novel !  The kids looked so cold
and hungry that I almost gave them a quarter but feared they would
just turn around and spend it on “The X-Files:  I Want to Believe” or
“Journey to the Center of the Earth”.  Instead, I handed them a few
copies of my fantastic reviews (which they promptly ate).

Enough of the mushy stuff…  Let’s talk about the best of the best !!!
That’s right folks, it’s time for my top movies of 2008 to be exposed in
a grand fashion !  Some of you will agree.  Some of you will throw up.
But in the end, a good time will be had by all !!!

And… here… we… go !


# 1

Iron Man

You would have to be Stark raving mad not to LOVE this movie !

 url[1].jpg&usg=AFQjCNEBYUImzdXX6iezE35G2AeOWsCPTg by you.


# 2

The Dark Knight

The Joker’s Wild !!!



# 3

Horton Hears A Who!

After playing an Ozzy Osbourne record backwards.



# 4


Change you can believe in !



# 5 (Is Alive) !


A “spaced-out” robot finds love !

 url[1].jpg&usg=AFQjCNGcJstq6bHznsucdsUhZMaWq4w-VA by you.

This Is A Beautiful Award.  Thank You !


# 6


Filmed by Katharine Hepburn !



# 7

The Fall

Have a nice trip !



# 8

Gran Torino

Grandpa Torino is more like it !



# 9

The Incredible Hulk

A huge SMASH over the Banner summer of 2008 !

 url[1].jpg&usg=AFQjCNHBhxra7ukdIZnMDUDuhH6I3Jrx9w by you.

What Do You Mean I’m Not Number One ?



# 10

Kung Fu Panda

Tastes Like Chicken !



And now, for the REST of the BEST !  Honorable Mentions:

~ Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Speed Racer ~
~ Mamma Mia!
 Forgetting Sarah Marshall ~
~ Tropic Thunder 
Bolt ~
~ Star Wars:  The Clone Wars 
  Quarantine ~ 
 ~ Milk 
Hellboy II:  The Golden Army ~ 
~ Get Smart 
Death Race ~
~ Doubt 
Prom Night ~
~ Slumdog Millionaire



There you have it !  Feast upon the greatness of it all !  LOL !!!
Now, you are probably wondering what the WORST movies were
of 2008.  So many to choose from…  Here are the five BIGGEST 
STINKERS in no particular odor order !!!  (Please, open a window
and maybe even hold your breath).

 In the Name of the King:  A Dungeon Siege Tale


Over Her Dead Body

The Strangers

The X-Files:  I Want To Believe



On a final note, I would like to say that “CriticalCorner.Net” has had
a fantastic first year thanks to YOU !!!  Please come back soon and 
often !  Much to my surprise, my most viewed post of 2008 was not
“The Dark Knight” or even “Iron Man”…  (Drum Roll Please)…

It was “Death Race” !  Ha Ha !  Unreal.  Good times, good times.

~ ~ ~

Daniel’s Critical Corner:  Always  a “10” out of “10” !!!