The Tooth Hurts !
Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Even Dick Clark Says:
You Aught to Be in Pictures !
Happy New Year, one and all !!! It is hard to believe that just ten years
ago we partied like it was 1999. Those were simpler times. Sigh… Goin’
to the movies was such a nice treat… No cell phones, popcorn was still
under $10.00, Tom Hanks had a career and “Terminator Salvation” didn’t
exist !
Christian Bale’s high-tech flop aside, we sure had darn good reasons for
braving the lines at our local cineplex… 2009 has capped off a thrilling
decade of film that proved its resilience in an ever-turbulent world.
Yes, despite Janet Jackson’s boob falling out at the Superbowl, movies
were still there. Remember when we discovered that McDonald’s made
us fat ? Our escapism made us feel thin ! Going to see “Sex and the
City” eased the pain… (Even though we cried silently in the darkened
theater with traces of “Big Mac” still on our whiskers).
When Michael Phelps was getting stoned, we were getting high on life !
(Well, vicariously through film at any rate). Now, I give you the best of
the best, screw the rest. Let’s start with the most titillating tales from
this past year !!! Nope, I’m not talking about Balloon Boy or Madonna’s
tryst with Jesus.
Ladies and Germs, I proudly present the greatest flicks to grace 2009.
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The Blind Side
An eye-opening experience !
Erin Brockovich, Eat Your Heart Out !
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Away We Go
Bohemians can be wonderful (when they aren’t singing) !
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
AKA “Harry Potter and the Nursing Home of Incontinence”.
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Up in the Air
Hmm… Sounds like a description of Tiger Woods’ Career !
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My Bloody Valentine 3D
A personal favorite of mine.
Yet Another Great Pick !
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Inglourious Basterds
A hit on Hitler.
* Is my spell-checker working ?
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The Hurt Locker
This film is no dud !
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Star Trek
I really spaced out for a moment…
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Up
Ed Asner in 3D… Finally !!!
* They must’ve got my letters.
Ha Ha ! Now I Know Why They Call You An Old Fart !
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Avatar
True blue entertainment !!!
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That concludes my top ten !
~ Hold your applause. Let’s take a gander at 2009’s honorable mentions:
Ponyo ~
~ Confessions of a Shopaholic
9 ~
~ Earth
The Proposal ~
~ Michael Jackson’s This Is It
Paranormal Activity ~
~ The Hangover
Orson Welles and Me ~
~ District 9
Transformers: Revenge of
the Fallen ~
~ Precious
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Now what you’ve all been waiting for… The Stinker of the Year:
The envelope please… OK, the award goes to… “Bright Star” ! It
should have been called “Tarnished Turd”. LAME costume drama.
Avoid such crap at all costs !!!
Dishonorable Mentions:
~ Friday the 13th
Observe and Report ~
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Ah, now for the BIG payoff. You’ve hung on this far, so I shall treat
you to a fun list featuring 25 of my favorite movies from the 2000’s.
Good times… Savor the flavor !
Yep, Looks Like This Guy Has Nailed It Once More !!!
The Simpsons Movie
Kill Bill: Volume 1
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Finding Nemo
300
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Spirited Away
Iron Man
Million Dollar Baby
Gosford Park
Pan’s Labyrinth
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Strangers With Candy
The Dark Knight
Elvira’s Haunted Hills
Meet the Parents
Winged Migration
Pirates of the Caribbean
Serenity
There Will Be Blood
Spider-Man 2
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Frailty
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
The Bourne Ultimatum
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Phew ! Seems like I’ve turned Baby New Year on his ear with this page.
But I am resolved in 2010 to offend your grandmother to dish out some
more great reviews on relevant movies !!! Thanks for reading !!!
~ ~ ~
Daniel’s Critical Corner: Always a “10” out of “10” !
