Daniel’s Critical Corner: “The Odd Life of Timothy Green”

I’ll Stay Planted In My Seat For This.

Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner  ~
Today, Al Gore Will Endorse:
The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Late summer’s crop of movies is always a mixed bag.  Sure, there are a few
bad apples, but some decent offerings still manage to sprout up !  Disney’s
heartwarming new family film, “The Odd Life of Timothy Green”, is certainly
pleasant enough (and aptly titled).  Basically, we have an odd kid who does
weird things under peculiar circumstances.

Arguably, there are other films with stranger titles out there, like “Lemony
Snicket’s Tragic Unfolding of Whatever”.  Hmm…  Or something like that !!!
Then we had Heath Ledger’s last flick, which I think was called “Dr Magoo’s
Fascinating Emporium of Potassium”.  Ugh !!!  Sorry folks, “IMDb” is down.
I’m winging it !

Now, I must admit that “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” is kind of vague in
describing itself.  Heck, “John Carter” would certainly agree !  But, as stated
above, this is some heartwarming* stuff.

*Artichoke heart (delicious heated, and full of vitamin K).

Audiences, no doubt, will dig the characters of Jim and Cindy Green (played
by Joel Edgerton and Jennifer Garner, respectively).  Joel was “Uncle Owen”
in the last two “Star Wars” movies.  Which, were technically the second and
third “Star Wars” movies.  I’ll let George Lucas handle that business…  I am
here to talk about horticulture.

Believe it or not, I’ve actually got a green thumb.  OK, it’s only because I’ve
been attending a finger painting class (our assignment today involved some
fields of clover).  Being artistic can be difficult at times…  Yet Jim and Cindy
Green dream of having an artistic child one day.  Or perhaps athletic !

As a matter of fact, even a talentless child would make the Greens happy.
The only exception possibly being “Honey Boo Boo” (everyone must draw
lines somewhere).  Cindy and her husband Jim can’t be too picky because
they are fast approaching middle age without kids of their own.

~

Look ! “VeggieTales” Is On TV !

~

Unable to conceive, they start talking about adoption.  Since that is often a
lengthy process, Jim and Cindy decide to hurry things up by planting some
dreams in the garden out back.  This hopeful couple first jotted down traits
of a “perfect” kid (then placed the writings in a wooden wish box).  Well, it
isn’t long before a little boy surfaces next to the spinach.  Now that’s what
I call organic.  Michelle Obama would be proud.

Timothy introduces himself, and the family welcomes this miracle into their
lives.  They don’t carrot all where he came from, or why.  Best to just leaf
well enough alone !!!  However, the Greens do get into quite a pickle while
dealing with a dilly of a situation !  No matter.  Lettuce continue…

As the proud parents of fresh produce, Jim and Cindy have quite a task on
their hands.  Tim seems like a good little lad, but there are problems from
the start.  For one thing, he has a shrub growing out of his leg.  They opt
to prune it down (I guess because they’re out of antifungal cream) !

Bringing magic and delight to everybody he encounters, Timothy becomes a
smash hit at the annual family picnic.  He indeed takes a particular shine to
his new uncle, “Bub” (played by M. Emmet Walsh).  Uncle Bub’s a funny old
coot and trickster.  He and Tim do nothing but tell jokes and laugh !

Sadly, Uncle Bub is hospitalized (after he almost becomes a vegetable).  It
goes without saying that Tim can relate.  Frowns are turned upside down in
record time though, as our hero displays his adorable bedside manner.  Not
too bad for a Cabbage Patch Kid.  Hmm…  “Cabbage Patch Adams” !!!

~

Nice To See You Again, Mrs. Dash !

~

Even though going to school is a little difficult for the tyke, Tim manages to
find himself a cute girlfriend.  He meets her while taking a quick swim (also
known as a “vegetable dip”) !!!  She happens to love leafy greens, so they
become like two peas in a pod…  A nice relationship develops, and some of
the best parts of this film are when these friends dream together !

Young actor CJ Adams really brings a magnificent perspective to Timothy’s
character.  He is both charming and convincing.  It’s understandable how
Tim’s entire hometown of Stanleyville ends up being inspired by him in the
long run.

There is a touching moment where Timothy (and his parents) are attending
some sort of musical luncheon…  Many kids in the group begin to showcase
their respective talents, with Jim and Cindy worrying that Tim can’t cut it !
He surprises everyone when he breaks into song, Broadway style !!!

The leaves on his legs come alive, and start ensnaring unsuspecting guests.
He pulls innocent people in and devours them (like a Venus Flytrap) whilst
singing “Feed Me!”  Blood curdling screams are heard as…  Um…   Yikes !  I
am thinking of “Little Shop of Horrors”.  Tim does not eat people, he simply
entertains them with a natural rhythm and freestyle beats.

Whenever our ambitious youth tries to branch out, his mother is overjoyed.
Jennifer Garner delivers a fine performance, despite some sappy moments
here and there.  Certain scenes do emulate a “Lifetime Original Movie”, yet
everything manages to stay rooted in good fun !

What this story boils down to (like a potato) is that we’re all blessed, at one
point in our lives, by someone who shows up like an angel.  They might not
stick around for long, but we are stronger for having known them !  Now, I
can’t tell you how things end…   That would be too mulch information.

  Regardless, I am sure “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” will grow on you !!!

~

Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  7 out of 10

~ ~ ~

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “Marvel’s The Avengers”

Back In Black

Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome to Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Suiting Up Today: Marvel’s The Avengers 

Fanboys around the world, it is time to rejoice !  Nerds, bask in the glory !
Geeks, dust off those action figures !  “Marvel’s The Avengers” has arrived.
More rewarding than Free Comic Book Day, and shinier than unobtainium !
This film is incredible…  A surefire SMASH !  Yes, those were some blatant
“Hulk” references !!!

Indeed, a multitude of people were holding their breath (until they turned
green) while anticipating our gathering of superheroes Samuel L. Jackson
has been dangled in everybody’s face for four years, promising us amazing
things.  Usually, Mr. Jackson does not like to be dangled !

 He’s made appearances in “Iron Man”, “Thor” (and even “Captain America:
The First Avenger”)Jackson’s always rambling on about something called
The Avenger Initiative. He peddles that idea as if he were selling “Amway”
or “Avon”.  And, if his plans tanked, selling makeup would probably be his
next career move.

Anyway, Jackson stars as “Odin”, the ruler of Asgard (and Thor’s father) !!!
He is also the father of…  Whoops !  Wait a second.  Anthony Hopkins plays
Thor’s dad…  It’s that darn eyepatch that mixes me up each time.  Jackson
portrays “Nick Furry”…  I mean “Fury” !  He’s not “Furry”, the man is bald !

But that is neither hair nor there.  Nick Fury is the director of the Strategic
Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division !  They just call
it “S.H.I.E.L.D.” for short.  This triumph of an action flick actually starts off
rather low-key (or, should I say, “Loki”) as Fury encounters a bad guy who
wants to steal his magic ice cube.

Loki (Thor’s evil bro) has dropped in to get his hands on that glowing blue
square known as “The Tesseract” !  Tom Hiddleston plays Loki (who is loco
in the cabeza).  But, his cabeza is well adorned with a killer helmet !  Fury
gets blindsided (pun intended) and his powerful thingy falls right into the
clutches of dastardly (if not impeccably dressed) villains.

How does one combat such treachery and high fashion !?  Find just a few
haute couture costumed-crusaders of your own, of course !

~

I Was Told They Would Make Me A Star.

~

As good fortune would have it, Fury has several colorful characters on speed
dial.  “Speed” being a key word, because these folks can run (and fly) pretty
fast !!!  There’s “Charlie Chaplin” (played by Robert Downey Jr.) also known
as “Iron Man”.  He doubles as “Sherlock Holmes” on occasion, so this is one
busy fellow.  Joining Holmes is “Captain America” (Chris Evans).

Captain America has been thrust into the future.  An odd world that’s given
him the red, white and blues.  He was a boogie woogie bugle boy, but after
dozing off for almost 70 years he does not feel like tootin’ his own horn !  If
nothing else, this guy needs to feel useful in today’s society.

After all, the man was actually frozen for decades.  Good thing.  Otherwise,
Mickey Rooney would have been hired to portray him.  Captain America was
a puny weakling at one point in his life (until the U.S. military experimented
on him with a bizarre strength serum).  Now, he is one tough cookie !!!

Weaving her way into this growing group of goody-goodies is the lovely and
alluring “Black Widow”.  Scarlett Johansson puts an interesting spin on the
iconic spy.  As “Natasha Romanoff”, she’s Russian to find every dangerous
criminal.  Widow is only armed with martial arts, a tiny gun and some dude
(who channels Daniel Craig) whilst shooting arrows !

To keep environmentalists off their back, the group promises to go green
Naturally, they enlist the “Hulk” !!!  I think because he recycles !?  Anyway,
the jolly green giant is (once again) voiced by Lou Ferrigno.  As for the guy
who plays his moody alter ego, “Bruce Banner”, we now have Mark Ruffalo.
Edward Norton was perfect in 2008 (these days, he’s just 2000 and late) !
Eric Bana was good too, but Ruffalo nails it.

~

I Just Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore !

~

The Hulk almost steals the show.  Everyone gets plenty of quality face time,
but (much to my surprise) Hulk just plain rocks !!!  To round out this heroic
posse, is yet another name on the roster.  While flying in their craft, several
members of our gallant gang think they hit a bird during a lightning storm !
Nope.  They’ve smacked into the god of thunder.  And boy, is he “Thor” !!!

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) swings his hammer to save the day (only because
he can’t find his baseball bat) !  Backing up this stellar star and his cohorts
are “Agent Phil Coulson” (Clark Gregg),  Iron Man’s computerized assistant
“J.A.R.V.I.S.” (Paul Bettany) and Iron Man’s seemingly always barefoot love
interest “Pepper Potts” (Gwyneth Paltrow).  “Hawkeye” (Jeremy Renner) is
Natasha Romanoff’s exceptional archer.

Even Sir Michael Caine has returned, playing the noble manservant, “Alfred
Pennyworth”.  He’s always putting in his two cents !  Ha !!!  Um…  Whoops,
wrong movie (heck, wrong universe) !  I’m already starting to get multiple
angry phone calls.  Sheesh.  Good thing I didn’t ask why “Wonder Woman”
wasn’t in this extravaganza.

It has been said that too many cooks spoil the broth Not the case here !!!
Each superhero brings something unique to the mix (and everything blends
harmoniously).  Sure, there are HUGE egos to contend with, and there are
plenty of grand fights amongst The Avengers themselves.  They do resolve
their issues (sometimes by duking it out) and that is half the fun !

Collectively, these warriors are able to thwart Loki’s fiendish plot.  Loki and
some random “Other” guy are planning on ruling mankind !!!  The second
dude’s name is indeed “The Other”, just for the record !  The Avengers are
shocked when a huge orifice opens up in the sky and nasty creatures start
flying out…  Very similar to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” video !

This flick’s graphics are nothing short of dazzling !  The audience is treated
to eye-popping special effects.  Hmm… That might explain what happened
with Thor’s father and Nick Fury !  Solid performances, dynamic chemistry
between the actors (and director Joss Whedon’s sense of humor) made it
all very much worth the wait.

So, start Romanoff towards the theater to see “Marvel’s The Avengers” !

~

Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  10 out of 10

~  ~  ~

Daniel Boyer

Daniel’s Critical Corner: Rise of Halloween Favorites

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another !

Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome.  Stay For A Bite ~
Today’s Horrific Hullabaloo: Rise of
Halloween Favorites

Behold the many glorious wonders of autumn !  Blankets of red and orange
leaves now bury cemeteries under ever-waning daylight.  Birds start to look
South beneath an ominous Harvest Moon…  And, even though it’s a bit chilly
outside, you can still place your tongue on a flagpole and not get stuck !

Best of all, Halloween is just around the dark corner…  And I’ve got some
movies listed here guaranteed to give you the heebie-jeebies !!!  Or maybe
just the heaves.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Tingler

* No.  It’s not a shampoo.

I Walked with a Zombie

* Then I went running with a vampire !

The Gravedancers

* Weren’t they on “America’s Got Talent” ?

Diary of the Dead

* Today at school, I finally worked up the nerve to eat Billy.

The Monkey’s Paw

* Argues with the Monkey’s Ma.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

* Unless you’re in a hot tub with Ashton Kutcher !

Sorority Row

* Alpha Epsilon Die

~

Somebody’s Got An Axe To Grind.

~

The Boogeyman

* Who says disco is dead ?

Cujo

* A nice companion piece to “Old Yeller”.

The Thing

* Thawing out aliens is never a good idea.

The Howling

* Justin Bieber in concert !

Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes

* Sorry, I forgot to shut the gate behind me.

Borderland

* Michele Bachmann says this is her favorite Madonna song.

Fright Night

* Is a spooky delight.

Paranormal Activity 3

* This season’s final contestants on “Dancing with the Stars”.

I Eat Your Skin

* And have cheesecake for dessert !

The Fly

* Grab the swatter.

~

Stop Bugging Me !

~

Christine

* Honk if you love film critics !

The Stuff

* What Jamie Lee Curtis gobbles down to stay regular.

Nosferatu

* Gesundheit !

The Hands of Orlac

* Look Madge !  I soaked in it !

Deep Blue Sea

* Not to be confused with “Dolphin Tale”.

The Funhouse

* Also known as Charlie Sheen’s residence !

The Lawnmower Man

* Has hit yet another sprinkler.

Visiting Hours

* Are Over.  See you next time !

~

Happy Halloween from Daniel’s Critical Corner !
Always a “10” out of “10”And always tickling
your funny bone !!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”

Look !  They’re Bringing Out The Figgy Pudding !!!

Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Today’s Mystical Musings To Mull Over:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

As Christmas fast approaches, everybody’s scrambling to fill up their cups
with good cheer (and their car trunks with presents).  In the midst of this
hustle and bustle, you may be finding yourself in need of a break.  Where
can we go to escape all the happiness that’s being forced upon us !?

For violence, gore, gloom and sexual overtones, you need not look much
further than “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”.  Arguably, there are
several other somber cinematic options at the moment, such as “Faster”
and “Saw 3D”…  But if you really want the taste of joy sandblasted from
your mouth, chew on this “Potter” installment.

Director Rob Zombie really gives us a grisly treat as he puts the screws
to the once adorable “Hogwarts” gang !  He…  Whoops…  I meant to say
director David Yates !  What on Earth made me think of Mr. Zombie ?

If you ask me, David Yates has become the new king of carnage.  There
are many stellar examples in this thrilling review, so please read at your
own risk.  Heck, watch the film at your own risk for that matter !!!  Now,
I am not sure if a character named “Charity Burbage” getting swallowed
by a snake (after being tortured) qualifies as carnage, but it’s close !

Our story begins at a press conference (of sorts) where the “Minister of
Magic” is basically telling everyone they are screwed !  A moment later
we see an old, withered man staring out a window…  The harsh ravages
of AGE have been gnawing away at his face !!!  Has “Dumbledore” risen
from the grave ?  Nope…  It’s just Daniel Radcliffe as “Harry Potter”.

I’ve Been Feeling A Little Horse Lately.

 

Harry’s family, the dreadful “Dursleys” are getting the Hell out of Dodge (so
to speak) because of the horrible, imminent danger headed towards them.
Running away from Privet Drive with their suitcases, they don’t say a word
regarding poor Potter, which is a shame because in the book they actually
show a hint of affection towards the guy.

Let’s face it, with a humble running time of only 146 minutes, how can any
resolution be squeezed in !?  Yes, they squeeze Charity into a snake, but
she was a muggle-loving fool and she deserved it !

Hermione Granger (played again for the umpteenth time by Emma Watson)
also senses impending doom…  To protect her parents, she uses a spell to
erase their memories of her.  That’s all fine and dandy I suppose, until the
rest of her family comes calling, and the neighbors start asking questions !
“But we don’t have a daughter.”  Sure.  Try telling it to the police.

Anyway, our heroes soon rendezvous with the loveable dork “Ronald Bilius
Weasley” AKA “Ron” (played by Rupert Grint, who is really starting to look
more like Rupert Murdoch these days).  Of course, humongous “Hagrid” is
on beard for this adventure as well.  I  mean board.  He’s on board.

In order to get Harry to a safe haven (because vile “Voldemort” is still out
hunting for his head) Hagrid must sneak him out into the night.  Tragically,
there is an ambush, and Potter’s owl “Hedwig” gets her angry inch blown
clean off.  Feathers fly as the fowl is fried !!!

Speaking of hooters, there are a couple of strange scenes presented that
are somewhat inappropriate if you ask me…  “Dolores Umbridge” would not
approve, to say the least !  It’s no secret that Harry wants to snog Ron’s
sister “Ginny”, and they make this quite clear in a rather spicy manner.

 Dirty Harry

 

A short while later, we see Harry and Hermione (in a fabricated attempt to
make Ron mad) naked and snogging like there was no tomorrow !  Most of
their naughty bits are strategically covered by a tiny puff of smoke, which
implies that “Hallows” was just a small blur away from an “R” rating !

Save it for the stables, Radcliffe !  Now, I do understand that author J. K.
Rowling wants her characters to mature and grow.  They can’t be children
forever (that goes without saying, unless we’re talkin’ about “Peter Pan”).
If he became an adult, should we watch him and “Wendy” hook up ?

Perhaps I am being too harsh.  Hermione is actually a great “kid”, yet she
has terrible fashion sense.  Wearing red to a wedding will never help any
girl’s image.  Shocking, but true !  Miss Granger pulls a fashion faux pas of
mesmerizing proportion at the nuptials of her pal by sporting a red dress…
What’s next ?  White shoes after Labor Day !?

Appalling apparel (and inappropriateness) aside, this seventh installment of
the beloved “Potter” franchise is structurally sound.  Action abounds when
Harry tries to track down various “Horcruxes”, fighting creepy “Snatchers”
and “Death Eaters” on the way !

One or two Death Eaters from the novel seem to be absent…  Rumor has it
they have become vegetarians !  At any rate, favorites such as “Severus
Snape” and “Bellatrix Lestrange” are around.  Such ghoulish monsters bring
an almost unbearable feeling of dread, and at one point Bellatrix bumps off
the hobbit who always brags about his tacky Velcro-strapped boots !

Well, deck the hallows with boughs of holly, and then check out this merry
massacre of a motion picture.  Visually stunning (despite having more tent
scenes than “Brokeback Mountain”) and fast-paced, “Potter” again proves
to be solid entertainment.  Personally, I prefer the earlier, whimsical fare…

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
puts the harm back in charm !

~

Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating: “7” out of “10”

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “Step Up 3D”

Baby, I’m Not Putting You In A Corner !

 Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Popping And Locking Today: Step Up 3D

This is just a shot in the dark…  But is anyone still living that recalls
a video by Janet Jackson titled “When I Think of You” ?  Most folks
probably don’t know of it.  A pleasant little jewel released sometime
during the “Mesozoic Era” !  Just one viewing will uncover the many
ancient secrets (and inspirations) behind “Step Up 3D”.

Janet (Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty) has been somewhat aloof these
days.  Yes, she gave us some big hits and even brought some boob
to the Superbowl…  I think his name was Justin Timberlake.  Janet’s
still mighty fine, but what has she done for us lately ?

Like the brightly clad street urchin’s from her glorious MTV past, we
have yet another gang of kids utilizing garbage can lids (and similar
implements) while offending a variety of pedestrians and apartment
dwellers with modern dance.

I use the word kids loosely, as most of this group is a little long in
the tooth.  I mean that quite literally in one case…  “Moose”, fresh
out of “Step Up 2: The Streets” has indeed returned, played again
by Adam G. Sevani !  Adam looks like a cross between Elijah Wood
and a vampire, always ready to suck on someone’s neck.

Much to my surprise, Adam does everything but suck.  A talented
and engaging actor, he busts out some mad dance skills in rather
unexpected places.  I must admit, I was not expecting much from
him or this movie.  Who didn’t think “Step Up 3D” was going to be
direct to DVD quality ?

Funky and fresh, this flick blew my socks off.  Straight up !  Now,
no one was more shocked than I.  The first installment was kinda
dope, but the second offering was lame.  Sort of like that sequel
from the 80’s, “Break In Two: Electric Bungalow”.  Or whatever it
was called…

 

Oh No…  Am I Sweating ?

 

Anyway, Moose is starting college, with memories of his dancing
days far behind him.  He just wants to make his parents happy,
and they will be as long as he does anything but boogie.  That’s
reasonable…  Heck, why do you think I became a movie critic !?

As he’s doing orientation for school, he tells his girlfriend (Alyson
Stoner from the original “Step Up”) that they can finally spend a
lot of time together.  Moose has become a big dud since he quit
dancing, but he can now date until his heart’s content.

Of course, his resolutions seem to be short-lived…  Everything is
going well until he gets “dance mugged” in the bathroom !  No, I
am not talking about George Michael here…  Some random freak
starts breakin’ by the urinals during a bizarre dance-off.  

Moose escapes his assailant thanks to some fancy footwork and
a couple of sinks, but he knows it’s only a matter of time before
he is accosted again…  His talents don’t go unnoticed, however,
as some good-natured hoofers have been watching from afar !

This pack is led by dance guru “Luke” (Rick Malambri)…  He tries
to help young, frightened and seemingly unemployed people find
their souls by giving them a place to practice assorted routines.
All he asks in return is that they become his slaves and help him
win assorted competitions !!!

 Luke runs a pimped-out studio of sorts where his many followers
can live and dance (as long as they do the dishes).  Everyone is
content with this situation, but because these bums never pay
any rent, foreclosure is imminent !  Hmmm…  Makes one wonder
if this ever happened to “Billy Elliot”.

 

The “Village People” Vs. “Ice-T”

 

They call themselves “Pirates”, I’m not sure why, but maybe it’s
because they like to shake some booty.  Before anybody has to
get a job (phew) an opportunity miraculously presents itself for
some serious cash…  A dance battle known as the “World Jam”.

Not only does Luke need to win the prize money,  he must also
capture the heart of a beautiful dancer named Natalie (Sharni
Venison Vinson).  Man…  I was on the edge of my seat.  Could
Luke wind up alone walking the streets ?  Or will the studio be
saved along with his romance ?  GULP !  Well, off to the World
Jam he goes, with Moose in tow…

Now things pick up.  The dancing competitions are impressive.
I commend director Jon Chu on such innovative choreography,
who at times almost channels Busby Berkeley.  A multitude of
creative sequences cover up the cheesy plot nicely !

Several different formats of dance are on display here, shown
in different elements and environments.  Breathtaking scenes
utilize today’s 3D technology to the hilt !!! There’s a little bit
of old school, new school and even some homeschool.

At one point, we have a sultry tango…  Then, we are treated
to a “Singing in the Rain” tribute.  Some dude even shows up
and starts doing the “Robot” (and the robot loves it) !

Many films use 3D to “enhance” the experience, but this flick
works every angle, and instead of CGI the special effects are
real people.  Topping things off is a rousing soundtrack that
punctuates every move with incredible precision !!!  Even as
the closing credits roll, cool stuff is happening…

So, Hip-Hop over to the theater and enjoy “Step Up 3D” !!!

~

Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating: “8” out of “10”

 

 

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “Toy Story 3″

Sorry, Wrong Number.  There’s No “Woodpecker” Here !

 Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Today I Will Be Playing With:  Toy Story 3

For young adults, saying farewell to beloved playthings has become a rite of
passage.  This often signifies the bittersweet end of a long journey, bringing
with it life-changing and inevitable conclusions…  Vivid imaginations are now
effectively corralled, making room for the various realities and responsibilities
grown-ups must face.

Perhaps I am jaded, but if your toys are indeed used up and broken, common
 sense dictates they must be thrown out.  Especially if your name is Dr. Ruth !
In “Toy Story 3”, Andy (who was just a tiny kid in the first two installments)
is at a pivotal age, gettin’ ready to leave home for college.  What mementos
of his childhood should he take with him ?

He only has so much room in his car, and almost half of that is already spoken
for due to large amounts of acne cream.  Not to mention his humongous stash
of “Twilight” books and merchandise…  (Don’t tell his mom, she worries enough
about him already).  She thinks “Team Edward” has something to do with the
World Cup.

Andy has sadly forgotten about his old pal “Woody” (voiced by Forrest Gump)
and his spaced-out companion “Buzz Lightyear” (voiced by Santa Claus).  The
cowboy and astronaut duo are actually toys that come to life when no one is
looking.  Almost like “Night at the Museum”, except without Ben Stiller !

Unlike Ben, our college-bound student does not know about the secret life his
action figures have been living…  If he did, he probably would not have stored
them in a dark chest for several years .  And they sure as heck wouldn’t have
wound up inside a trash bag (as they do) headin’ for a permanent residency
amid the attic rafters !

 

Wait…  Did You Just Say I Look Like “Justin Bieber” ?

 

Yes, the horrible attic…  A mausoleum of memories, where yesteryear’s dusty
remnants are hidden away from sunlight !  (It’s merely purgatory for Christmas
decorations and plastic pumpkins).  Andy’s friends do their best to keep a stiff
upper lip, all while dreading an impending journey upstairs.

Following some crazy mixups, the toys find themselves out on a curb as trash !
Woody is spared, but Buzz and a few other notable characters are now in quite
a pickle.  Our favorites from the prior “Toy Story” instalments (such as yodeling
cowgirl “Jessie” and “Mr. Potato Head”) are now virtually enshrouded with black
plastic, sitting next to smelly garbage.  Let me just say…  That’s harsh.

Admittedly, this stuff was really tugging at my heartstrings.  If you thought the
first few minutes of “Up” were tragic, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.  Sure, dead old
 ladies make for sad scenarios.   But before watching our loved ones get wrinkles,
there is that moment when we feel we are too “cool” to actually sit on the floor
and play with dolls or “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

This movie manages to convey the wide range of emotions associated with such
transitions in a subtle manner.  Shown from the toys’ vantage point, abandoning
most vestiges of youth is sure to resonate with audiences everywhere.  We can
all understand the anguish !

As luck would have it, Andy’s perplexed pals are spared the garbage truck fate.
They are instead sent over to the daycare center…  FROM HELL !!!  Things will
never go over easy if you are a good egg at “Sunnyside” !  Rogue toys rule the
roost, locking up nice playthings and then offering them as sacrifices to rowdy,
evil children.

Borrowing heavily from “Prison Break” (and maybe even “The Green Mile”), this
flick becomes intense as our heroes plan their escape…  I think someone gets
shanked.  Romance and intrigue come into the equation as new alliances form.

 

Careful There…  She’s Just Trying To Push Your Buttons !

 

Jessie and Buzz get rather cozy !!!  But what happens with “Barbie” and “Ken”
is nothing short of disturbing.  Barbie is on board for the adventure (voiced by
Jennifer Tilly) with sinister intentions.  Her ex-boyfriend Ken has been dead for
many years, yet she’s got a plan to resurrect the murderous fiend !

 After reading a few chapters in the book “Voodoo for Dummies”, Barbie starts 
her candlelit ritual.  Wearing a vile amulet known as “The Heart of Damballa”,
she chants “Give me the power, I beg of you!”

At first, there is nothing…  Then, while a storm rages on outside, Ken comes
back from beyond the grave !!!  This bloodthirsty beast is actually housing
the soul of serial killer “Charles Lee Ray”, and…  Um…  Whoops !  I think I’ve
made an error.  (“Bride of Chucky” was on TV last night) !  Sorry.  OK, back
to the subject at hand…

Ken and Barbie are fairly decent dolls trying to help Woody’s gang get away
from Sunnyside.  There are despicable toys though, in the form of a plump
bear named “Lotso” and an ominous octopus they call “Stretch” !!!  Whoopi
Goldberg is wonderful as Stretch (who happens to be the color purple) !

By the end of this mesmerizing tale, a tear ran down my left cheek.  I don’t
make it a habit of crying during movies…  But man, I carry some GUILT with
me regarding what happened to my toy collection.  When I was a teenager
I thought there was no harm in abusing my former playthings.  No one told
me they were alive !

In retrospect, I did hear some muffled screaming after I buried my “Bionic
Man” figure in the backyard…  Chalked it up to an overactive imagination.
The worst crime ever committed against my childhood comrades was with
two “Star Wars” figures.  “Princess Leia” and “Obi-Wan Kenobi” !

If you saw the film “Splice”, you might get a kick out of this…  I took off
Obi-Wan’s head and put it on Princess Leia’s body.  Poor things !  An old
dude’s noggin on a cute girl’s frame.  Facial hair and all !!!  Well, looking
at Carrie Fisher these days, there is a rather striking resemblance.

Andy’s toys fare much better in Pixar’s latest masterpiece.  Everything’s
coming around full circle in our character’s saga…  Thankfully, they stay
true to themselves while being showcased in glorious 3D !!!  It’s a blast
seeing just how far they’ve come.

 Worthy of the Buzz being generated, “Toy Story 3” is enchanting fun !

~

Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  “9” out of “10”

 

 

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “The Wolfman”

wolfman61.jpg The Wolfman picture by criticalcorner1
I’m Not Only A Member Of “Hair Club For Men”,
I’m The President !!!

Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Today’s Ferocious Feature:  The Wolfman

Lurking in shadows, the beast awaits…  Its unsuspecting human prey
illuminated by an imposing full moon.  Sensing danger, our intended
victim hurries along her path, hoping to reach home (whilst shrouded
in a security blanket of fog).

Sadly, the wayward waif shall never set foot at her humble abode on
this accursed night.  She has been marked…  FOR DEATH.  A fiendish
creature must feed !!!  There is a moment or two of screaming, then
nothing but the sound of warm flesh being ripped from bone.

 Away from human eyes, gnashing teeth chomp on entrails as a furry
 and fantastical freak revels in carnivorous carnage.  With hair coated
 in gore the monster goes back from whence it came…  Sometimes on
 all fours, and sometimes on two legs (wearing the clothing of a man).

 OK, enough about “G-Force”.  Yes, it’s a fun movie…  But guinea pigs
 are so overrated !  If you want a little finesse with your fuzzies, look
  no further than Universal’s “The Wolfman”.

 I’ve got to admit, I was scared going into this one !  Hairy monsters
 have always terrified me, ever since I was a young lad.  Bigfoot, The
 Abominable Snowman, werewolves and Diana Ross ALL give me really
bad nightmares.

 

  DianaRoss-furdevil1.jpg D. Ross picture by criticalcorner1
  ^ Bigfoot Diana Ross

 

 This new flick is a “Scream Come True” for horror lovers, as it emulates
  the classic 1941 version quite well (with a touch of modern sensibility).
  Notable Hollywood legends who first gave the Wolfman his bite are now
  sadly long gone, but here’s a fitting and refreshing tribute to them !

  Who could forget Lon Chaney Jr. running around foggy moors at night
   with a rug glued to his face ?  Claude Rains and beautiful Evelyn Ankers
were in tow for shrieks and giggles !

   Today, we get Benicio Del Taco Toro filling the paws of Lon Chaney Jr.
   with respectful and wonderful results…  No surprise there !  As it turns
   out, Del Toro is a GIANT fan of the original “Wolf Man”, and owns tons
  of authentic shaggy memorabilia !!!

   Ha Ha !  Isn’t it funny, back in those days they actually named people
   (giggle) “Lon”.  Hey, no offense if your name happens to be Lon.  But
   statistically speaking, if your name perchance is Lon, you are way too
 old to read this.  More than likely, you’re probably dead…

    Anyway, Del Toro portrays “Lawrence Talbot”, a strange dude sporting
     a “Beatles” hairdo (and hiding more than one skeleton in his closet).  He 
     is a late 19th-century Shakespearean actor who must travel homeward 
   to Daddy’s musty old estate because somebody ate his brother.

    Anthony Hopkins appropriately plays Lawrence’s ambivalent father, “Sir
     John Talbot”, who seems bothered more by the incessant howling he’s 
     heard after sunset than the fact that one of his children is dead.  First,
      those darn lambs wouldn’t shut up, now he has wolves to contend with. 
        The Village People warn him of something very sinister !

 

   VillagePeople2.jpg The Village People picture by criticalcorner1
       

     Hey Man… It’s A Werewolf !!!

     

     Lawrence and John soon realize they have more than a hairy handful of 
    trouble when people start showing up looking like ground beef !  To add
     to this mayhem is busty Gwen (Emily Blunt) and a funny-looking bloke,
  Detective Abberline of Scotland Yard (Hugo Weaving).

    Abberline has his eye set on the Talbots, while Lawrence goes down to
    a gypsy camp looking for answers…  He stumbles upon a fortune-teller
    named “Maleva” (played by Charlie Chaplain’s daughter, Geraldine) then
     he encounters a dancing bear !  Um…  No, I am not talking about Diana 
Ross again.

    This bear seems to be a little perturbed, and falls out of step during his
    soft-shoe rendition of “Cabaret”.  Animals can often sense danger, and
      sure enough, a blood-thirsty werewolf is waiting to pounce.

     Under a macabre moon, the creature eats gypsies, tramps and thieves.
     And he washes ’em all down with (a couple bottles) of Doctor Good.  In
        the commotion, poor Lawrence gets nibbled on while tryin’ to intervene.  
       Of course, this means he is going to transform eventually himself… 

          Maleva chants:  “Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers     
      by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn 
     moon is bright”.  (Could be an advertisement for Benadryl).

 

     article-1250365-083AC4D0000005DC-89.jpg Emily Blunt picture by criticalcorner1
   The 2010 Census: We Will Find You.

 

     One of the film’s few faults is that it drags on just a little as we wait for
      our cursed cad to lurch into lycanthropy !  A lot of “blah, blah blah” and 
       plenty of “yada yada yada” before he terrorizes the countryside.   

     Inspired music from Danny Elfman takes you there, and it really adds an
     authentic touch of mystery too.  Who’s the human behind the werewolf
      that bit Talbot ?  Are foul deeds afoot ?  Is that a foot in the ditch ?

     At one point, the troubled townspeople decide to set a trap for our evil
      entity by tying a stag to a rope, then waiting in the bushes with rifles !
      Things go south when the stag breaks free just as the beast shows up. 
     (The stag runs one way, and several men run screaming in the opposite
    direction).

       Because they look somewhat tastier, Wolfy Boy decides to chase after 
      the menfolk !!!  Hmmm…  Sounds like Adam Lambert in concert.  LOL !!!
      Forgive me, that was a real howler.  Nonetheless, victims pile up whilst
    getting plowed down.

     The atmospheric cinematography and spooky special effects make for a
      treat on the big screen !  This werewolf is extra scary, mainly because 
      he looks like a man possessed by an animal.  In flicks such as “Twilight”
       and “Underworld” these loup-garous just look like big dogs.

      Michael Jackson got it right in his “Thriller” video !  And Michael J. Fox
       tried getting it right in “Teen Wolf”.  Now, director Joe Johnston brings 
      us a fun, old-fashioned horror movie that recognizes what creeps folks
      out.  All while boasting some HOT werewolf-on-werewolf action at the
  end…

        Go sink your teeth into “The Wolfman”.  It’s full-bodied entertainment !

~

   Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

    Daniel’s Critical Rating: “7.5” out of “10”

 

 

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

new-moon-facinelli-21.jpg Carlilse Cullen and Bella Swan picture by criticalcorner1
Back Off…  She Is Not An Hors D’oeuvres !

Hello Everyone !
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Getting A Waxing Today:  The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Imagine if you will, a little old lady walking slowly through the woods.  She is
hunched over, with locks of grayish hair cascading down her huge dowager’s
hump.  On her tiny, shriveled nose sits a disgusting wart.  A wart that she’s
been pickin’ at (with gnarled, bony fingers) for days on end.  Sadly, without
anybody to drive her to bingo, how else can she spend her time ?

She wanders into a field, reminiscing about her spent youth…  Forgotten so
it seems, as almost everyone she knew has passed.  An album of obituaries
now replaces her Christmas card list…  With a glazed eye fixed forward, she
plods ahead, dragging a small metallic tank over sticks and rocks.

All is silent, with the exception of the rhythmic hiss of her oxygen machine,
forcing life’s air into her withered lungs…  There is also a very light slapping
noise as her drooping melons hit her recently replaced knees !  This granny
rests for a second, and is startled when a hand gently touches her ancient
 shoulder.  It’s her young stud of a lover.  He remembered their rendezvous.

No, I am not talking about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher…  I am talking
about Bella, the heroine of “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”.  Bella’s having
visions of her possible grim future with her funny lookin’ undead boyfriend.
Indeed, she is a mortal dating a nauseating nosferatu.

This dud’s dude’s name is Edward Cullen (played uninterestingly by Robert
Pattinson) and if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was a “Chia Pet”.
Bella’s a pretty teenage girl without a care in the world who really wants
to invent new ways of suffering (played depressingly by Kristen Stewart)
I mean, happiness is so 2006 ! 

She moves to a dark town and drives some old beat-up truck, but that’s
not tragic enough for this chick.  Finding a cold, pale neck-sucker is her
cup of black tea.  Her man might not have a pulse, but he does leave a
mean hickey !

Of course, she wants to become a vampire herself.  That’s a mighty big
commitment sweetheart !  With the divorce rate as high as it is, turning
yourself into “Dracula’s Darling” could be a disaster…  What if you really
aren’t that compatible ?  What if you grow apart after eighty years ?

It would be like one of those guys who gets a tattoo of his “true love’s”
name on his chest when he is nineteen !!!  At age forty he is married to
 Sue but still inked with Brenda’s moniker.  Ha Ha !!!  What a twit.  Bella 
doesn’t see it like that though… The last thing she wants is to be some
hag hangin’ with a hunk.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Kristen20stewart1.jpg Bella Now picture by criticalcorner1

^ Bella Today

 

Wild_Horses_Lyrics_Video_Susan_Boyl.jpg Older Bella picture by criticalcorner1

^ Bella In Thirty Years

 

 yoda1.jpg Old Bella picture by criticalcorner1

^ Bella In Sixty Years

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Edward gets tired of Bella’s nagging, and decides to bail…  He leaves town,
forcing her into the arms of a sexy young werewolf !!!  (Yes, she is basically
every parent’s worst nightmare).  Her dad has to sit on the porch holding a
rifle filled with silver bullets.  At least he can finally toss out that garlic !

Speaking of garlic, each time Edward and Bella lock lips, it looks as if one of
them has eaten an anchovy pizza with extra onions !!!  Honestly, they both
react like someone’s going to barf…  Remember when Edward first met Bella
in “Twilight” ?  He actually gagged !  (But then again, who didn’t) ?  I think
it’s because to him, she smells like a hamburger and he’s now a vegetarian.

That is probably why Edward does not care much for werewolf Jacob Black,
played by Taylor Lautner in a meaty role.  Jacob has a thing for Bella, and
almost wins her heart.  The problem is, even though he’s a beast, he’s also
 an attractive and spontaneous guy…  BIG turn-off for our peculiar princess.

With Count Spankula out of the picture, Bella becomes rather blue There
is a wonderfully cliché scene where she looks outside her bedroom window,
watching the seasons change without word from Edward.  Jacob’s ready to
cheer her up, and does so by getting a decent haircut and fixing her bike…
(She still frowns and probably listens to “Bauhaus” albums backwards) !

 

 Twilight-2011091.jpg Eward and Bella picture by criticalcorner1
Bella…  Lugosi’s Dead.  But I’m Here For You !

 

Soon, the once boring Bella channels “Evel Knievel” and becomes a totally
wild adrenalin junkie.  She realizes that whenever she’s close to death, her
batty boyfriend materializes for a minute or two !  Talk about putting “fun”
back in dysfunctional !!!

Things get really crazy when some icky blood-slurping fiends come after
our odd bunch…  Fur starts to fly as Jacob does battle with beatniks from
 beyond the grave.  Arguably, some moments at times are pretty exciting,
 and this flick’s soundtrack punctuates the action perfectly.

During one melee, it appears as if Bella has died.  She is OK, but Edward
thinks she has passed away…  He feels guilty for leaving her, and for not
turning her into a vampire.  Overwhelmed with grief, he decides to end it
all (but not before finally taking a walk on the wild side) !  

He rips his clothes off and goes streaking in front of a parade.  Perhaps
“Macy’s” needed higher ratings this year ?  Some little brat points at him
and laughs, causing the chastised Cullen to retreat towards a castle.

  While there, poor Edward must go on trial in front of a panel of vampires 
 so diabolical, that even the “American Idol” judges would cringe at the
 thought…  Known as the “Volturi”, this VILE coven rules with an iron fist
 and polished fang.  They want to rip Edward’s head off for hanging out
with humans and running around nude in public.

 Hmmm…   I wonder what they would do to Adam Lambert ?  Anyway, it
 looks like Bella’s Fella is in hot water.  Will he survive ?  I won’t give any
 spoilers.  But if you are one of the millions that’s already read Stephenie
 Meyer’s young-adult romance series, you know what happens…  Kind of
 cool (and kind of silly) these moody weirdos have me looking forward to
2010’s “Eclipse” !

   Although made of cheese, “New Moon” is not “Twilight’s” last gleaming !

~

Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  “7” out of “10”

 

 

Review: “A Lonely Place for Dying”

ALPFD Two-Sheet(1600X1129) by Humble Magi.                                                                                                                                           

Check Out THIS Gun Show !

Hello Everyone ! 
~ Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner ~
Today, I’m setting my sights on:  A Lonely Place for Dying

There is something to be said for a movie that grabs your attention
from the word “go” and engages you for almost every moment you
are involved.  When said movie is of the independent ilk, accolades
must be given.  “A Lonely Place for Dying” is really a prime example
of what independents can (and should) be.

Writer/Director Justin Evans is fine-tuning his sharp signature style
by involving the viewer on every level imaginable.  I can’t help but
shower this film with praise.  It leaves me anticipating what Evans
will do next !

One of the shining gems in this venue is Ross Marquand, who plays
 a soviet turncoat named Nikolai Dzerzhinsky.  The year is 1972 and
 Nikolai has become disillusioned with the KGB…  He tries to get out
 by trading secrets, only to discover that what he’s falling into may
 be a worse alternative !!!  He eventually holes up in an abandoned
  Mexican prison, facin’ down an assortment of “colorful” characters
that could be either friend or foe.

 Photo above:  Ross Marquand.  Photo below:  Michael Scovotti.

 

Michael1.jpg picture by criticalcorner1

Because I Could Not Stop For Death,

  He Kindly Stopped For Me

 ~ Emily Dickinson

 

Tension builds as Nikolai figures out who wants him out alive, and
 who wants the prison to be his tomb.  Marquand is very effective
 as a person who can be somebody’s strong ally one instant, then
 torture them the next with an almost childlike glee.

 Ross Marquand gives a performance we (usually) only see from the
 most seasoned of actors, taking this movie to another level…  And
 completely transcending the independent genre in the process !

 Also on board here are:  Michael Scovotti (who emulates a 1970’s
 agent so well that it’s uncanny) and the always enjoyable James
 Cromwell…  Not to mention “The Crow’s” Michael Wincott !

   “A Lonely Place for Dying” does not ever look, sound or feel like an 
  independent film.  The writing is superb, the scenery stunning and
  the lighting amazingly atmospheric.  Sure, it’s gritty when it needs
  to be, and often feels claustrophobic only to highlight moments of
     liberation.  Evans provides a taut, suspense-laden roller coaster, 
     and I’d be hard-pressed to say I have seen a better indie this year. 

    Definitely right on target, “A Lonely Place for Dying” is a direct hit.

~

  Would I Recommend This ?  Yes

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  “8.5” out of “10”

 

Daniel’s Critical Corner: “Where the Wild Things Are”

where_the_wild_things1[1] by you.
Sarah McLachlan (Right) Getting A Hug At “Lilith Fair”

~ Hello Everyone ~
Welcome To Daniel’s Critical Corner !
Today’s Shaggy Schlock:  Where the Wild Things Are

This Halloween season, I’m sure many fine people are going to be wondering
exactly “Where the Wild Things Are”.  Some will take solace in the fact that
they are not all in David Letterman’s dressing room…  Folks can actually find
beasties galore lurking throughout Spike Jonze’s new adaption of the classic
children’s book penned by Maurice Sendak !

At times, this dark flick feels like it was really penned by Jacqueline Susann
(Valley of the Dolls) or Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar).  This “kid’s” story sure as
bloody HELL did not translate into a kid’s movie…  It’s a PG version of “The
Omen” laced with moments reflecting “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. I
couldn’t tell if I was watching “The Bad Seed” or “Born Free” !

Our “hero” is some brat named Max.  I disliked this young man about three
minutes or so into the film… For starters, he has some strong anger issues
and his mother dresses him funny.  Little Mad Max is the kind of character
you really want to see get beat up on the playground !  He is not wearing
any jet-black eyeliner yet, but he’s one “Hot Topic” shopping spree away
from becoming EMO !!!

Granted, Max does have a hard life for a child…  We never see him playing
 video games (abnormal) and he doesn’t even seem to own an iPod !!!  This
forces him to build snow forts, play with sticks and use his imagination.  If
I saw my son out in the street playing with a stick, I would just hand his
lunch money to bullies myself.  Sticks are soooo 1952.

Part of the problem stems from his parents being divorced.  Or maybe they
are separated…  I’m not sure.  Whatever the circumstance, Max has ended
 up living with his mom and sister.  One fateful night, this kid sees his mama 
getting groped by some dorky dude on the sofa…

Max freaks out…  But that’s what happens when bodies start slappin’ (from
doin’ the Wild Thing).  She wanna do the Wild Thing !!!  Please, baby baby
please !

 

Tone+Loc[1] by you.
Hangin’ Out Is Always
Hype !

 

Max’s mom and “date” are angry that the boy has ruined their good time…
The traumatized tot tears up the house while his mother attempts to find
  some Prozac (to no avail) !  He proceeds to bite his mommy and then runs 
out into the street, dressed as a squirrel and howling like a banshee.

What happens next is magical…  Sort of.  Cujo Max runs to a waterfront
area where he gets into a boat and sales off to an enchanted world !  In
tragic reality, this twit is having a big medication withdrawal and foaming
at the mouth while laying semi-conscious on a dirty beach.

  His dark, inner demons spring to life in a fantastical fashion !!!  We meet  
odd creatures resembling the “Sid and Marty Krofft” puppets (after being
coated with glue and tossed in a giant pile of Natalie Merchant’s leg-hair
shavings).  This is of course, assuming that Merchant indeed shaves her
legs.

 

504x_wherewildthings[1] by you.
^ Another Avant-Garde “Burger King” Commercial

 

 I mention Natalie Merchant only because of the style of this film’s soundtrack.
It’s kind of folky, but not good old-fashioned granola folky.  It’s like screaming
angry-hippie bongo animal folk !  Folking ridiculous if you ask me…  If I wanted
to be entertained by slightly miffed bohemians, I would watch “Rent”.

Anyway, Max starts to hang out with these large, wild monsters.  All of them
have major problems (but cute names) !!!  Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini)
is the leader of the pack, and he likes to break things…  His girlfriend has left
him (KW, voiced by Lauren Ambrose) so he’s totally bummed out.

Assorted fuzzy (and feathered) friends help Max become king, and Max uses
everything in his power to cheer Carol up !!!  Carol eventually comes around,
but not before ripping someone’s arm off.

At times, “Where the Wild Things Are” reminded me of “Jon & Kate Plus 8”.
Horrible hair, depressing adult situations, assorted goblins running around
and loads of shrieking.  Sad in a way…  Yet not a total loss.  Despite being
far removed from the vibe the book put out, this flick is artfully done.

 

wildthings27crop[1] by you.
How Do You Work This Confounded Camera ?

 

 Beautiful imagery and nice special effects abound.  But the plot’s much too
heavy-handed, and the resolution of everyone’s issues is muddled.  OK, so
the director did something bold and daring.  Kudos to him !  He embellished
on a story we all know and love… (I’m glad he avoided doing Dr. Seuss and
others).

Can you imagine ?  “Horton Hears a Who!” (because of the hallucinogens).
Or, “Clifford the Big Red Dog” (gets taken behind the shed) !!!  How about
 adorable “Curious George” (and the intriguing electrical outlet) ?!!  Perhaps 
the already morose “Velveteen Rabbit” (in a “Fatal Attraction” remake).

Fact is, it’s pretty easy (and in vogue these days) to turn something fun
and lighthearted into a tragedy.  I’d give a cookie to someone who could
do the opposite !  Maybe transform Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” into a
sweet, heartwarming tale of happiness and hope…

 Ha !!!  When I first heard about this project, for some reason I thought 
it was being directed by “Spike Lee” !  Now there’s a movie worth seeing
at any cost.  “Do the Right Wild Thing” ! 

 I’m sure it would have been more entertaining than this incarnation…  Not
 a good film,  not a bad film.  Just an adequate study regarding the effects
of steroids on Teletubbies.

  “Where the Wild Things Are” is full of sound and furry, signifying nothing.

~

Would I Recommend This ?  No

Daniel’s Critical Rating:  “6” out of “10”